Six original designs — the President in bronze and oils — available as bumper stickers, postcards, posters, tees, mugs, and magnets. Preserving this administration the way Rembrandt never had to. New collections drop whenever the news gets weird enough — so, often.
Every design keeps the lights on at Chump HQ — and each one comes as a weatherproof bumper sticker, a postcard, a poster, a tee, a mug, or a fridge magnet. Guaranteed to start at least one conversation in a parking lot.
Chump Change3" × 9" vinyl. Looks official from twenty feet away, which is the whole joke.
Making AmericaThe official state of the union: heads, shaking.
A Bust Like Nobody'sCommissioned by himself, of himself. The double meaning comes free.
"BelieveTwo words. No warranty included.
No HatersHouse rules at Chump HQ, in his own words. Everyone else, welcome.
Honk If You'veCaution-tape yellow so nobody can say they didn't see it coming.
Stickers $6 with free shipping · 3 for $15 · Proceeds go to hosting, ink, and bail money (kidding about the bail money). New collections drop when the news gets weird enough — the mailing list hears first.
Reality could not be reached for comment. Sources close to reality say it stopped returning his calls years ago, and honestly, who could blame it.
Aides report the President paused halfway through, asked what "executive" meant, and signed it anyway. Legal scholars describe the document as "a paradox with a Sharpie."
All negative coverage will now be subject to a 25% import duty, payable in compliments. The Treasury has not yet worked out how to collect.
"It's the biggest ocean, maybe ever," he told reporters, before adding that he'd "seen a lot of oceans" and this one was "frankly a disgrace."
Just signed the greatest executive order in history. Nobody has ever seen an order this executive. Details to follow, or not.
The FAKE NEWS says my approval rating is down. WRONG. It is simply approving in a different direction.
note to self. never admit the tariff thing was about losing at monopoly
Many people are saying — and these are big, strong people with tears in their eyes — that Chump Change 2028 is the best sticker they have ever owned. I agree with them.
Why does the moon get to be full. Nobody talks about this. Looking into it.
I have instructed my lawyers to sue the dictionary for its unfair definition of the word "chump." Total witch hunt.
Listed in both alphabetical order and order of least importance.
First word on every new collection, plus the occasional emergency broadcast. We email rarely and never sell your address — we sometimes read through the list dreamily.
Unsubscribe any time. These times, however, cannot be unsubscribed from.
"Please read this with a straight back, not hunched over. For your health."
For once, he practices what he preaches.
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